October 31, 2009



October 28, 2009


Yesterday I went to see the horror hit of the fall PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, I wanted to see all the hype, all the scariness that people are hollering about. The film was number #1 and made over the weekend $67 million and SAW 6 came in number #2. I paid the early matinee price $8.75 (the early matinee special) at my local AMC movie theater. I sat in the middle of the auditorium, a few people in the audience. So, what do I have to say about PARANORMAL ACTIVITY? Is all right, whatever…

The doom twenty-something year old couple Katie (Katie Featherston) and Micah (Micah Sloat) (The actors used their real first names to give it that non-fiction true story) are living in a nice two floor home. They hear noises, footsteps, ghostly sounds and all the bumps that go off at night.  Micah buys a nice prosumer camera to videotape all the paranormal bumps in the night.  Katie invites a psychic (Mark Fredrichs) to their house, she tells him that since she was eight years old, she feels something has been following her and she always heard things that go bump in the night.  The psychic feels there is something in the house, but Micah doesn’t believe in the Psychic, he thinks he is a fruit.
For three weeks Micah places his prosumer camera in the middle of their bedroom for surveillance to capture any happenings.  In the middle of the night the camera captures the door closing, noises, a shadow, Katie in a state of somnambulism staring at her sleeping boyfriend for two hours.  Micah shows all the captured dailies to Katie to prove there is something really wrong in the house. Katie starts to get a little weird, Micah is trying to help her with video camera in hand to capture everything she is going through… In the middle of the night, a spirit comes in, pulls the sheet off Katie, and drags her out of the room as she screams glory mercy. Micah runs after her to help her.  Katie is freaking out, but they continue to stay at the house, in which I don’t understand why this couple stayed at this house, when you hear things that go bump in the night, get up and get the fuck out.

SPOILER ALERT: Katie in another state of somnambulism, stands by Micah's side of the bed, stares at him for a while, she leaves the room slowly, she goes downstairs, we hear some creepy hard footsteps, a little while later, we hear Katie scream at the top of her lungs, suddenly waking up Micah.  Micah jumps out of bed and runs downstairs. They both start to scream. Then a sudden pause.  Micah gets thrown across the room, knocking down the video camera.  We see Katie in the middle of the room, blood all over her shirt.  Katie walks up to the dead Micah on the floor.  She kneels besides him, smells him and she looks at the camera (at us the audience). Her face turns into a quick ghostly demon. The End.  That’s it. Credits of the couple’s whereabouts, then the end.

 Katie and Micah deliver a fine tune performance, especially Katie Featherston. Filmmaker Oren Peli did a cute job with the whole scare tactics, lets see if his next film live up to the hype, like the Blair Witch Project Filmmakers they were famous for a year and so, then they disappeared making crap, and where are they now?

I really didn’t care much for PARANORMAL ACTIVITY - the whole video camera point of view scariness and jolts is so overrated, is been done in hundreds of horror films - THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, .REC, QUARANTINE (.REC remake), DIARY OF THE DEAD, THE POUGHKEEPSIE TAPES, OPEN WATER and the list could go on. I do admit Paranormal Activity is ten times better than The Blair Witch Project with more suspense, more scares and spooky wild noises. But this type of film has been done already, in different million ways, with the same storylines, demon possession taking over the wife and killing her husband, or vice versa, is been done over and over and over again. Did I care for the film? Nope. What is all the hype about? TWO STARS from EYEPUS. Wait till it comes out on DVD (with its alternative endings) rent it, or buy it when it comes to the five dollar bins at Walmart.


October 25, 2009


Necrophilia bumbling teen assholes Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and J.T. (Noah Segan) talking crass and homophobic epithets (they look like muffins themselves) go to an isolated mental hospital to drink some cheap brewskies and chill out. Out of boredom they crash the place, and stumble on a supposedly pretty girl, tight up to a gurney, which at first seems dead then hopeless and alive, J.T. starts to touch her breast rather than go get help for the poor girl. Rickie wants to call for help to save the girl. J.T. a manipulative thug slaps Rickie. Rickie thinks this all wrong. J.T. starts to rape her (a dirty zombie girl sweaty and with wounds filled with pus). The deadgirl becomes his sex slave zombie girl. The asylum isolated basement becomes a stench of dead sex odors. And then the party begins when the deadgirl is really a chomping zombie. J.T. gets one of his friends named Wheeler to join the action. Taking turns exploiting, raping, touching, and hitting the undead girl. They all keep it secret about their romps with zombie girl, but word leaks out that they have a chic tied up, free for all boys to plunge her. Once word spreads around about deadgirl pussy giveaway, all hell breaks loose, blood and gore splatters starting with zombie girl biting a jock’s cock off. This cheap, tired film is one of the stupidest films I have ever seen, I really don’t know what the screenwriter and filmmaker had in mind for this is senseless piece of shit… I DON’T HAVE ANY FURTHER COMMENTS. If you want to see a film about necrophilia in all its glory, see the German classic, sick horrors NEKROMANTIK (1987) and NEKROMANTIK 2 both directed by German filmmaker Jorg Buttreit.

DEADGIRL unnecessary stupid - shady lines:
“We have to get her to a hospital before she bleeds to death."
“Two red blooded American studs passing on pussy."
“I got my own sweet pussy waiting for me tonight.”
“Get in line fag.” (The homophobic tag lines)


October 21, 2009


I HATE THE WHOLE "SAW" Series.  Why? Its so redundant, so tired - how many ways are they going to find to torture a person?  I dont care if the film makes 100 million at the box office, SAW will never be reviewed here.   I will never interview a SAW filmmaker here at EYEPUS.  I'm over the SAW series.  I saw part one and then part two and that was it for me.  Tired acting, stupidity, whatever...  A horror classic film like TRICK R' TREAT didnt get justice in a movie theatre, but a bullshit film like SAW 6 gets screen time. The world of film is so fucked up.  ASIAN HORROR CINEMA is better than the SAW series but it ends up on DVD.  But SAW gets screen time.  I believe SAW gets its stolen torture ideas from ASIAN HORROR CINEMA.


FRIGHT-RAGS has four new t-shirt designs, my favorite and fiercest are these two t-shirt designs:  PENNYWISE THE CLOWN and PUPPETMASTER.   The other two are nice too, but these two are my favorites.  Early in July of this year I wrote a small blog about FRIGHT-RAGS - I love their shirts, original stuff (check it out below).  If you like these shirts go to their website WWW.FRIGHT-RAGS.COM check out their bloody, great shirts.

October 18, 2009


DRAG ME TO HELL Starring Allison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver
Written and Directed By Sam Raimi Running Time 99 minutes, Rated PG-13
Christine Brown (played beautifully by Allison Lohman) has a good job and a good boyfriend named Clay (Justin Long). Christine works as a bank loan officer, and she is after an assistant manager position at work. One day an old, haggard, gypsy woman named Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) with one bad eye and a nasty hand with long, thick dirty nails asks Christine for a bank loan extension because she doesn’t want to get evicted out of her home. Christine refuses her bank loan extension, Mrs. Ganush gets down on her knees begging Christine for the extension, everybody at the bank starts gawking at Mrs. Ganush. Mrs. Ganush stares around her, as the people are gawking at her, she looks up at Christine and says: “You Shame Me”. Later in the evening Mrs. Ganush waits for Christine in a parking garage. Christine unaware, gets into her car with Mrs. Ganush on the back seat. Mrs. Ganush, a demonic, tough little old cookie tries to strangle Christine, both start battling it out, kicks, scratch, pulling hair, strangling, spitting. Christine kicks the old hag out of the car. The old hag rips a button off Christine’s jacket. Mrs. Ganush with button in hand and a few witchery words (a spell) all heathen hell breaks loose for Christine. Christine and her boyfriend Clay are walking by a psychic advisor, Christine decides to go in to get consulted. The psychic advises Christine that the dark spirit LAMIA is after her. Christine is after Mrs, Ganush to find a way to give her the loan, so the curse could be stopped, but Mrs. Ganush is dead. Christine goes through hell and back trying to get this curse to be stopped.

The film is full of goo, spit, slime, vomit, mucus, some blood (the unrated version), fluids, flies, eyeballs, dirty dentures, demon possessions, talking goat, flying objects, jumps, scares, spooks and slapstick humor. Director Sam Raimi take us back to his old roots of his Evil Dead films (EVIL DEAD, EVIL DEAD 2: DEAD BY DAWN, ARMY OF DARKNESS). Some scenes remind me of EVIL DEAD 2. Christine is the female Ash (the Bruce Campbell roles on the EVIL DEAD films) where she fights down and takes it like if she was a man. The film was written by Sam Raimi and Ivan Raimi, both are brothers and they wrote a spectacular creepy, fun little hay ride. The cinematography was very well shot, especially the scene in the cemetery, with Christine and the dead Mrs. Ganush - a very spooky atmosphere. The cast delivered outstanding performances especially Christine (Allison Lohman) and Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) battle sequences. Sam Raimi delivered a great little horror fun ride, I wish he could continue making more horror films, back to his old roots of EVIL DEAD fame.  DRAG ME TO HELL is now on DVD, rent it, buy it.
FOUR STARS.  Excellent piece of work.


More remakes and more sequels and again more remakes (I say it again) since no one can come up with originality, but there are millions of filmmakers with original stories, Hollywood just havent scout fully or giving them a chance.  Well, POLTERGEIST is yet another remake in the horizons, the film is schedule to be release sometime in 2011.  According to IMDB the film will be directed by Vadim Perelman (THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG).  I wonder who is going to play the sweet little Carol Anne and they better bring back that wicked stuffed toy clown.  I hope is a great remake, but again, why remake a classic?

October 16, 2009


When I was a kid I begged my dad to take me to see MOTHER’S DAY at the old Cosmo Movie Theatre in 116 Street - Manhattan, NYC. MOTHER’S DAY was playing as a double bill with another horror film titled NIGHTMARE. Cosmo no longer exist, now is a clothing department store. I remember seeing MOTHER’S DAY and my dad sitting next to me staring at the screen gagging at the violent images. MOTHER’S DAY was directed by Charles Kaufman (brother of Lloyd Kaufman - Troma Films), Three college Friends reunite for a reunion, they head to the woods, where they encounter two insane, sick depraved sons and their saucy, wicked, funny, kooky, bitchin mother played shockingly and amazing by Beatrice Pons. The three college girls get violently dragged inside a rickety, broke down home in the middle of the woods. The girls get beat, abused, chase, one of them gets violently raped, slaughtered. Two of the college girls escape the mad house and they go out into the woods where they decide to seek bloody vengeance against this fucked up family. And in the most excruciating, sick way the two girls kill them one by one in graphic details. This little classic horror gem is one of the best female vindictive horror films I ever seen on the screen, aside from I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE.

Now the remake is in production, with Charlie Kaufman as the writer, and Rebecca De Mornay (The Hand that Rocks the Cradle) playing the wicked, insane mother. “SAW” Director Darren Lynn Bousman take us to a new setting from the woods (original MOTHER’S DAY setting) to a homestead. According to IMDB - the psycho boys and their psycho mother (De Mornay) return to their old home to torture the new occupants and their guests… Cast: Rebecca De Mornay, Jaime King, Shawn Ashmore, Briana Evigan, Alexa Vega, Matt O’Leary and Deborah Ann Woll.

Visit the MOTHER’S DAY Remake website: www.mothersdaythemovie.com

October 15, 2009

MONITOR A Film By David V G Davies Teaser Trailer

Filmmaker David V G Davies (Animal Soup) upcoming horror opus MONITOR teaser trailer is up in his website www.FILMMA.com and here at EYEPUS. Check it out below...

Monitor Teaser Fin Mpeg2video - For more funny movies, click here

October 13, 2009


WES CRAVEN is in post production of his latest horror flick 25/8.  Everyday he twitters on Twitter the latest with his new film piece.  Wes Craven always direct great movies even the drama MUSIC OF THE HEART who earned Meryl Streep an Oscar nod.  I hope 25/8 is rated R and he is not forced to deliver a PG-13 film like Red Eye and Cursed.   The premise of 25/8 according to IMDB - A serial killer returns to his hometown to stalk seven children who share the same birthday as the date he was allegedly put to rest. I hope is a good tale and a bloody one too. 

October 10, 2009


The long awaited horror film TRICK 'R TREAT is finally in our video stores, a film that was supposedly be in movie theaters back in 2007, and was push away by Warner Brothers for their own shady reasons.  Sadly, this film should've been in movie theaters because this is one of the best original horror films in recent years, and the best horror anthology since CREEPSHOW.  We see junk tired fare on the big screen such as the redundant SAW series (in which I will never review here at EYEPUS) and stupid remakes such as MY BLOODY VALENTINE get big screen time, but an original horror to be cult classic TRICK 'R TREAT couldn't be on the big screen, I'd really don't get it.

TRICK 'R TREAT takes us to four intertwining stories full of fun, shockful of jolts, pranks, wickedness, little monsters, poisonous cheap candies, evil little masked children, spookiness, carved pumpkins, costume extravaganza and halloween madness. In one Halloween night a little sweet creepy monster (with a burlap mask) is in the prowl, a school principal is wicked as hell as a serial killer, zombie bus children take vengeance, saucy/deadly femmes, wicked pre-teens pull an almost deadly halloween prank.  And all hell breaks loose in this Halloween tribute anthology.  The acting by the amazing cast (Leslie Bibb, Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, Dylan Baker) delivers. Michael Dougherty’s direction of Trick 'R Treat is exhilarating and a damn real halloween treat just in time for Halloween, too bad it can't be enjoy in the big screen. 

TRICK 'R TREAT Starring Anna Paquin Brian Cox Dylan Baker Brian Cox Written and Directed By Michael Dougherty Rated R Running Time 82 minutes


October 7, 2009


ZOMBIELAND Starring Woody Harrelson Jesse Eisenberg Abigail Breslin
Emma Stone  Directed By Ruben Fleischer Rated R running time 85 minutes

An unknown "something" has taken over earth, making the dead come back to life, turning the planet into zombies.  A nerdy, young survivor named Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) with shotgun in hand, is on his way to visit his parents in Columbus, Ohio, in the middle of the highway he meets another survivor - Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a sadistic, funny, crazy cool looney, who loves to sadistically kill zombies in brutal ways.  Tallahasse's mission is to find his holy grail - a "TWINKIE".  On their way across the state, they stop at a supermarket, Tallahasse wants his Twinkie.  After battling three obese zombies, Tallahassee and Columbus meet crafty sisters Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin).

The sisters mission is to make it to a Los Angeles amusement park (rumor has it that is zombie free).  The four journey to Los Angeles in a Hummer, weapons aboard to find the zombie free amusement park (film title ZOMBIELAND).  Columbus starts having feelings for Wichita and she feels the same way for him.  On the way to the amusement park, they want to rest, where they head to Beverly Hills with a star map in hand, to find a pretty home to lay low.  Unknowingly, they enter the home of Bill Murray (a cameo performance), where he is dressed like a zombie, Tallahassee is a big fan of Bill Murray, and he is in shock, that he is standing next to his idol.  Something shady happens in Bill Murray's home (I DONT WANT TO SPOIL IT) and is hilarious and kooky.

Though funny, the climatic ending is an edge of your seat ride, hairpuller, with an ultimate battle between the survivors and the zombies at ZOMBIELAND...  A great cast - Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg are funny as hell.  An amazing hilarious script by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick. First time director Ruben Fleischer takes us to a fun, action packed, uproarious, apocalyptical zombie on earth hell ride. Watching Zombieland is like playing a zombie video game (Left for the Dead, Fallout 3, Resident Evil series) on the big screen...  What Dawn of the Dead did for malls, Zombieland does for Amusement Parks.   The film had a budget of $23 million, and it looked like a 100 million dollar budget.  The film was Number One in America making $25 million dollars. 
  ZOMBIELAND is a classic  -  FOUR STARS

October 6, 2009


DAVID V G DAVIES who brought us the nasty, gory, shady ANIMAL SOUP, now comes his next horror opus MONITOR.  MONITOR is in pre-production,  set in a rehabilitation clinic where the staff have developed their own sinister ways to relieve stress.  The film already sounds like is going to be a scary little ride.  I'll keep everybody posted on DAVID V G DAVIES new horror opus, and you can visit his website  www.FILMMA.com for information on all his works and upcoming works.