June 12, 2012

PIRAHNA 3DD - REVIEW




PIRAHNA 3DD - FOR DOUBLE DUNG.


Starring Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Christopher Lloyd, Garey Busey, David Hasselhoff, Clu Gulager.  Directed by John Gulager.


PIRANHA 3DD is just a piece shit (dung).  Returning back are the lethal prehistoric piranhas causing boring slapstick havoc at a Waterpark... In this sequel to Alexandre Aja campy, funny, crazy 2010 "PIRANHA 3D" remake, there is nothing original, everything is so over exaggerated, over the top stupid, dumb down, and just tacky. 




The rundown on the sequences in brief - (SPOILERS AHEAD) A girl named Shelby (Katrina Bowden) is having sex with a guy, and a piranha comes out of her vagina locks teeth right into the guy's cock.  The guy gets a knife and chops his dick off, with Piranha still sucking on cock.  Another sequence a piranha dives right into a guy's (Adrian Martinez) asshole and start chewing the asshole.  A piranha starts walking and bites a child's head off .  A dream sequence where our heroine Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) is in the tub relaxing, tub full of water, she is asleep, and piranha babies coming out of tub water faucet, and they dive into her vagina... then she wakes up... The special effects is cheap CGI, fake dead cheap body parts,  gallons of fake blood, cheap looking piranha props that looked like they were bought off some PARTY CITY or HALLOWEEN TOWN store.  The 2010 Remake had countless nudity but it had a certain class and eroticism that was fun to watch.  But in this sequel the nudity is just blatant, boring, not fun to watch, just cheap. 

The film ends at closely 73 minutes - then the credits roll with behind the scenes of stupidity for the rest of the ten minutes adding to 83 minutes.  


0 STARS - DONT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THIS FILM NOT EVEN ON DVD.